Not to quote JLo, but “ain’t it funny how” double standards take over people’s mentality, as if there is no OTHER way to think? So when they are confronted with someone who differs (uh…me) their reactions are surprising? Being a confident woman who expresses her honest opinions openly is seen as conceited and in need of fine-tuning. Whereas a man who is confident in himself is “successful” and “moves forward.” What’s the difference? SEX? That’s not reliable.
What about relationships? Oh god for the double standards on those. Throughout the years I noticed a constant theme: Men seem to receive ALL the benefits of the doubt and women receive…um…the blame? Yeah, that’s it! It’s ironic because if you sit with young women for 30 minutes you can hear stories of what men have done that make you want to take a vow of singlehood for eternity.
To continue on this point, more than once I heard men mention that for a wife they prefer a pretty girl that was skinny/gorgeous and what was the reaction of the mothers around these guys? “Oh sweetie, of course! You deserve a beautiful one.” I stood there in shock…and my shock only grew when this happened: Another discussion of marriage comes up one day and the older ladies are asking me of my preference for a guy. I described that he had to be intelligent and MATURE and open minded…and so on; and when I came to physical traits that I prefer the mothers all threw their heads back in laughter. At first I wondered whether it was because I was detailed or because I was a girl and I am supposed to fit under the passive creature that says typical clichés like, “Oh I don’t care at all about the outside, it’s all from within.
I am not shallow, but let’s be serious, the outside matters in some way. It is the physical aspect that you often have to think of when you contemplate married life—so if that doesn’t click, how can you agree to go with the person, even if inside is nice? Some may agree, some may not, but this is me. I found out their laughter was both from the detail and the deviance and so their response was, “Honey, you DON’T want someone who is good looking because then all the girls will be staring at your man and so his ego goes up and so does your jealousy.” Hmmm, well ever think of the fact that maybe jealousy isn’t a part of EVERY girl? Or the idea that good-looking guys were born that way and they’re going to get married to someone anyway? Might as well take one! Maybe they were just jealous because they don’t have what I dream of, and so they just prefer to put me down now and crush my hopes in order to fall into the self-fulfilling prophecy and somehow prevent myself from taking what I want. I shall prevail!
Ain’t it funny how a woman’s beating heart is seen as creepy? OH MY GOD I HAVE FEELINGS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! That is exactly what I am told (in different terms). They say that in a relationship there is always someone who gives more. I think that that applies to every one of my relationships. Friendship. Kinship. Loveship. The problem is that all my ships are sinking. I guess I give more weight to the ship and drown it (as in I am the person who is always more into it than the other). I just didn’t realize that caring was an anchor to a ship—a flaw to the ships smooth sailing. People always tell me that I need to be more “mysterious” and a better “hard to get player” in order to get a guy (a.k.a. be a girl that has no anchor, no weight, no realism). Ok, so someone answer this question for me: WHY do I have to be an apathetic snob to attract a man? Is that really what they want? Well, then don’t look at me sweetie. I have a heart and a desire to love—sorry.
One last “funny” example on this point is referring to break ups. If a relationship of any kind comes to an end, I find that pity and sympathy sides with the man. For a few weeks (maximum) the woman is sympathized and cared for. But if her sorrow goes any longer, the environment around her seems to drift away and shut her down when the topic comes up. However the man receives constant sympathy and thought. So what’s the difference here? How come I hear, “Oh the poor darling,” when referring to the man of the ceased relationship and “Oh that depressed drama queen,” for a woman? Trust me, it is irritating to either be in that situation and feel alone OR to watch the man get babied for months after the ceasing.
Truth is, it really ain't that funny!
